Eudaemonia

Knowing, with Kim Carey

August 19, 2020 Kim Forrester Season 7 Episode 5
Eudaemonia
Knowing, with Kim Carey
Show Notes Transcript

Kim Carey is a spiritual mentor and host of the popular YouTube channel, Intuitiview where she explores current affairs and topical subjects through the lens of spirituality and positivity. In her videos, consultations and courses, Kim aims to demystify spiritual experience and inspire others to trust their own instinctive knowing. On this episode, Kim Forrester connects with Kim Carey to discuss how we can build happier lives and a better world by tuning into our inner GPS, and trusting the quiet voice within. 

This episode is made with love and without expectation. If you like what you hear, you may consider supporting Kim's work at buymeacoffee.com.

Kim Forrester :

Have you ever had a gut instinct so pure and so powerful that you simply had to take action on it? Do you know what it feels like to be fully locked in to your inner GPS, and willing to go wherever it guides you? I'm Kim Forrester, you're listening to the Eudaemonia podcast and today, it's time to explore the importance of instinct, intuition, and inner knowing.

Intro :

Welcome to Eudaemonia, the podcast that is all about flourishing. Plug in, relax and get ready for the goodness, as we explore the traits and practices that can help you thrive in life; with your host Kim Forrester.

Kim Forrester :

Kim Carey is a spiritual mentor and host of the popular YouTube channel Intuitiview, on which she explores current affairs and topical subjects through the lens of spirituality and positivity. In her videos, consultations and courses, Kim aims to demystify spiritual experience and inspire others to trust their own instinctive knowing. It's my absolute pleasure to be connecting with Kim today to learn how we can build happier lives and a better world by muting the expectations of others, tuning in to our own inner GPS, and trusting the quiet voice within. Kim Carey, I am really looking forward to exploring this topic with you because; A, it's something that's really really dear to my heart; and also because I know it's a subject that either fascinates people or it leaves them feeling really an easy. And I actually think that's a pity because the concept of profound intuition ought not to be as controversial as it is, and that's because in the last 40 years an overwhelming body of scientific research has arisen and shows that we do indeed have some form of sixth sense that we're yet to fully understand. You know, we now know that our concept of the quantum universe is incomplete, our relationship with consciousness is misguided, and all of these factors are kind of pointing to the fact that we do not yet fully understand the capabilities of our own minds. So that's my long way of saying thank you for being here, Kim, and discussing your personal experiences with me and my listeners.

Kim Carey :

You're very welcome.

Kim Forrester :

Let's start with your personal story. Because I think it's actually a powerful example of inner knowing. You were raised in the Mormon church, and you stayed in the church until well into your adulthood. But suddenly, you left the church because of a public stance that they took against marriage equality. Now, you say that you'd never questioned your faith before, right? Your attachment to the church had been solid, and yet, when you had an impulse to leave, there was no no doubt, there was no equivocation on your part. You say it's simply felt like what you had to do. Perhaps, Kim, you can share a little bit about this experience and answer me this in particular, had you always known that you would leave the church if it contradicted your social values and beliefs? Or was your decision sort of more inspired? Was it inspired action, where you just knew what you had to do in the moment it presented itself?

Kim Carey :

Right. Well, you know, the church had a lot of things that really resonated with me, they honour family, they promote service, they have prayer, they promote kindness. So it had a lot to offer me that stay with me those values stay with me, but the church had always been a patriarchy, which I wasn't fully comfortable with, but I felt like it was okay. You know, I could deal with it. It was something I could, I could understand. I could understand the history of the church, I understood why it was there. So I didn't ever question the church, but I did have a few issues with it, but ones I could get past. So when California had Prop 8 on the ballot, which was for marriage equality, I knew where I stood on that; and that was a personal belief to me, that was something that was beyond dogma; it was something that was in my heart; it's something I believe that people needed to be able to love who they love. It was instilled in me in some way. I just knew it. And so when the church took their stance, which was disapproval, but it was very public, they actually campaigned against this Proposition 8, and it just didn't sit well with me. I tried to make sense of it, and I just disagreed so much that I just felt I couldn't take part in an organisation that would take that stance. It just wasn't going to... it wasn't going to fit. You know, I felt that I could find another way to worship, but I couldn't not find another way to be true to myself. It was non-negotiable.

Kim Forrester :

So, it seems to me though that it wasn't necessarily an intellectual knowing; what was true for you and what was right for you. Would you agree with that? Was it deeper than just sort-of intellectual understanding and an intellectual drawing of moral boundaries? Was this something deeper from your heart, as you were saying, that embedded you in this idea of marriage equality and what it meant for you?

Kim Carey :

I think so. You can call it intuition or an inner knowing that it was wrong. The stance they were taking was wrong. I could just feel it. I just knew it. Like I said, it was non-negotiable. It was something I couldn't... I couldn't look at the pros and cons and decide, you know, yes or no, it wasn't that kind of thing for me. It was something that was deeply, deeply personal. It was a knowing. That's all... that's what I can tell you is that it really felt like there was something in me saying no, this is not right.

Kim Forrester :

I love the way you describe it as a non-negotiable because the experiences that I've had with my inner knowing, even when that inner guidance is contrary to, you know, what logic would state, or contrary to what public expectation and opinion would be, right? There comes a point sometimes in your life where what you feel to be right in yourself is, as you say, it's non-negotiable. You cannot waver on that truth that resonates from within you. When you left the church, I know that you obviously felt that it was right; there was no other course of action for you to take. But surely your decision left you with a whole lot of emotional and psychological stuff that you had to work through, you will literally dismantling an identity in many ways there, Kim. If we follow our inner GPS and we do what we know is best for us, if we do what we know is non-negotiable for us, are these decisions always going to be easy? Or can we expect to confront some really serious emotional work in some of these situations?

Kim Carey :

Well, it can be both. It can be easy and not easy, because there's a part of it that's easy; is that at least you don't have to fight yourself in the decision. You're on board with what you think, you're on board with, like, with yourself. Okay, so that's decided. So that part is easy. But for me, leaving the church; that was not easy. I personally found an online support group of people that had left the church and kind of gauged through that what was ahead of me, and I really had to mourn it, in a way, because I had been in the church since I was a child. And it was what I knew, and there were lots of things I miss. I miss the music, I miss the kind-of sense of community, I miss some of the teachings that I would learn, but afterwards, I found it made me feel very independent. It also gave me a sense that I could choose things that I didn't feel like I could choose before and I started to kind-of read voraciously. I read all kinds of different kinds of spiritual teachers and I read all kinds of religions and... and different beliefs. And I felt like I could be open to it in a way I couldn't before and so that really triggered my personal knowing, my personal intuition, because then I could let things sit with me; resonate with me. Did I feel it was true? Did I feel it was right? Did it feel good to me? I was open in a way I had never been before.

Kim Forrester :

As I mentioned before, Kim, this topic is very, very dear to my heart, and some of my listeners may know that I actually wrote a book on this exact subject. So my book Infinite Mind is where I share some really incredible examples of inner knowing, and I explained some of the recent science that is actually starting to demystify these phenomena. During my research for Infinite Mind, I came to realise that a well honed gut instinct is very common in successful business leaders. And for instance, (I love this story), Estée Lauder came to trust her knowing so much that she built her entire perfume empire around it. Her son has stated openly that regardless of what the focus groups would say, or what the data said, If Estée felt that a fragrance was going to sell, it would go to market, and inevitably it would do really well. And that's why, for anyone paying attention, Estée Lauder has a couple of fragrances; one's called knowing, and the other one is called intuition. So by trusting her innner knowing she became world famous, you know, as a perfume maker. What do you feel prevents us as individuals all over the world from trusting our inner knowing to that kind of degree? Do you still have moments of mistrust in this knowing?

Kim Carey :

I do. And I think it's a process, you know, you... you get used to, sort of trusting that instinct. And I think the fear comes from misstepping, being wrong, making a mistake. And really, you know, trusting that gut instinct, or that... that knowing, there... to me there's always an element of faith involved because, and that is a perfect example with Estée Lauder, because the data showed her something different, but she trusted her gut. In a way she went against, you know, all of the rules that were supposed to follow, which is look at the pros and cons, look at the data. And she did not do that. And so it's... it's scary to trust something that you cannot see and measure right in front of you. There. It is a leap of faith. And I think that the way that you kind-of conquer that fear is to do it again and again and agai; to build that trust within yourself. To build that trust and your own instincts about things, you're going to misstep, sometimes it's going to happen. It's part of the game. But there's nothing wrong in following that and see where it goes. Especially, if it's not life and death, why not? Why not? Follow it, see where it goes. Because it could tell you a lot about not only about yourself, but a lot about what you... you may know, that isn't right in front of you that isn't written on a piece of paper. There may be something else like you said, this sixth sense, this part of us that just kind of knows.

Kim Forrester :

Looking back now, Kim, you say that you realise that you were always getting these little pings of gut instinct. You got them when you were a child, you had them all the time that you were a part of the Mormon church. At the time, you ascribed these experiences to your faith and to God right. So you would explain it to yourself as 'Oh, this is God speaking to me' or in some sort of faith-based explanation. Now, in the work that you do you use language such as spirits and spirit guides that talk to you. Has your language changed because the experience of your inner knowing has changed? Or is this a case of using different language to explain the same experience?

Kim Carey :

I really do think that, you know, language is language, right, it's man made. So I feel like all of these things are... could be... there could be lots of names for them. When you're in an organised religion, you use the same language because you're talking to other people in the same organisation. So, just so you know what you are talking about, you'll say, God, you'll say, you know, in our church it was the Holy Ghost, the Still Small Voice, but I think that it's really explaining all the same things. When you say God, or when you say... you could say God, you could say the universe, you could say source energy; it's that bigger thing that we're all kind of connected through. Okay, so that's what you're talking about when you say those things. When you're talking about your own instincts, you can say, my... my instincts, you can say that if you're in a religion, you might say the Holy Ghost, the Still Small Voice, Eckhart totally calls it 'Being', that... that little part of you that's part of the big picture. And so that's... I think that that language is just all kind-of explaining the same thing. It's all the same thing. But, depending on where you are in your, you know, spiritual development, in a more dogmatic religion, you might say God, and then when you're kind of more just spiritual... you consider yourself just a spiritual person, you might say things like, you know, 'Source Energy' or the 'All'. It really is all describing the exact same thing, and I found that even when I would read about different religions and different beliefs, I saw those things again, and again, and again. It's all the same thing. It's just different names.

Kim Forrester :

I think we can get so hung up in language. The indigenous people of the world; you know, many indigenous peoples, it's their ancestors that come to them and bring them information or it's animal totems. So I love that you're kind of allowing people to understand that it does not matter; the words that you attach to these experiences, right? The power is in the experience itself.

Kim Carey :

Absolutely. And when I when I talk to someone who I... because I do do readings for people, and so when I talk to them, I always tell them, whatever you want to call it, you know, whatever you want to call it, God universe, or if you want to call it your instinct, your inner knowing, whatever you want to call it, it's okay. It really is, it is just the way that you're comfortable in associating yourself with it through language.

Kim Forrester :

As I said, we do tend to get a bit hung up on language though, and... and that brings me to my next question, because I know that both you and I avoid the word psychic. And, you know, I know the reasons I do so and I think they're kind of aligned with the same reasons you do so and that's because that particular word is associated with a lot of really unhelpful connotations and imagery and history. What do you feel that word psychic misses or misrepresents when it comes to your experience of true inner knowing?

Kim Carey :

Well, to me psychic, sounds like a very small, gifted few. You know, to me, it describes something a little more unusual. And for me, I feel like not everyone can relate to that word, because not everybody has had a psychic experience. But most people have had experience using their intuition. They know what that means. And they know what it feels like to they've had that moment when it's either... the phone rings; you know who's calling for some reason, or, you know, you think of someone and you see them the next day, or you have a person you meet and you don't know why, but you just want to not be friends with them. So everybody's had those kinds of experiences. But when you say psychic, I feel like that seems a little more mystical... magical... it seems a little less available. It feels like it's otherworldly. And to me intuition is so... people recognise it, they understand what that is, as soon as you say it, they know what that means that they probably experienced it.

Kim Forrester :

It reminds me of a quote that I read through the Institute of Noetic Sciences, which actually, you know, it's mainstream scientists that study these kinds of phenomena; consciousness and... and you know, our relationship with time and with space, and to paraphrase them, they were sort of saying that a lot of people call these abilities supernatural. And what I read on this quote was that, no, these instincts are actually supremely natural. They are embedded in us because we are a part of the quantum universe. And so I really love how they've turned that around. And you're pointing to that exact fact there that this is not something that is exclusive to a particular gifted group. Do you feel, and in your work, do you try to encourage people to understand that this is something that is inherently available to anyone who pays attention.

Kim Carey :

Absolutely. I talk about that all the time and my hope is as I work with people that they're able to kind of listen to their own instincts. So often, in a reading, I will say exactly what they thought, or exactly what they were thinking, or I will come to the same exact conclusion that they did and they'll say, "I just wanted to hear it from someone else; I just wanted to hear that that was right". So many times, they are hearing their own intuition, they're hearing their... oh, whatever you want to say; spirit guides. They're hearing something that just tells them this is right, this is wrong, this is the way I should go, this is not the way I should go. So often, they hear themselves they just don't trust it yet. And so I'm there really as a validation, I'm there as kind of to validate; yes, you are correct. This is your intuition that's telling you exactly what you need to hear exactly what you need to know.

Kim Forrester :

Kim, the Eudaemonia podcast is about flourishing in life. How has your life flourished since you left the church and all that it represented and stepped fully into this intuitive knowing?

Kim Carey :

You know, I trust myself more. In a way I feel... I feel more independent, and I also feel more responsible. You know, sometimes when you get into kind of the dogma of a church, it's helpful to a point, but then sometimes it can become a crutch, because you just kind of spit it out automatically; you don't stop and think; do I really believe that?, is that really true?, does that really make sense? You stop asking that because you just kind of get used to; that's what you say. You know, and so I feel like I really do know exactly where I stand on things. I know how I feel about them. I can explain why I feel this way. And so I feel like I do have a handle on what I believe, and it makes me feel more responsible for the conclusions I've come to.

Kim Forrester :

Knowing that you're tapped into this intuition, and for me, when we follow that inner GPS, it inevitably takes us towards success, towards happiness, you know, towards a greater version of ourself. Has that been your experience with your inner knowing as well?

Kim Carey :

Absolutely. It's also taken my life in a completely different direction.

Kim Forrester :

So I'm wondering now that you're tapped into that inner knowing that's really beneficial for you, do you make better decisions? And/or do you find yourself empowered to make more decisions? You know, do you make decisions that you would otherwise kind of shy away from?

Kim Carey :

I do. I mean, I do make decisions a lot more based on that inner knowing. I do try to do that. And like I said, there is kind of a faith element to it. And it really helps to just keep doing it over and over again because you get used to that feeling of kind of, 'Okay, I'm gonna do this even though I don't know why, but I'm gonna do it'. You kind of get used to that feeling of almost like flying without a net in a way, and yet, you land perfectly sometimes and you just think, okay, I did it, and so the next time becomes easier. You still miss steps sometimes and that's okay. That's okay. I'm not really sure why we feel like in this world where we make mistakes a lot that people don't feel it's okay sometimes to do that in learning something new about yourself. And if you have this new thing you can tap into, why not try? Why not just try, see where it leads, follow it, see where it goes.

Kim Forrester :

So we all have the ability, we all have the quiet voice within that's trying to guide us to a, you know, more fulfilling life. And I do wonder if in order to become more attuned to that voice, is it a matter of us learning how to hear it? Or is it simply a matter of learning how to trust it, or is it a combination of both?

Kim Carey :

I think it can be a combination of both. However, I have found that most people, they do hear it, but what they will do is try to talk themselves out of it, especially if it's not completely rational. If everything's telling you, I should, you know, take this job, or I should, you know, whatever it is, or I should move, everything in you is saying don't do it. But I think people, you know, because it's not something tangible, it's not something they can look at, it's nothing they can see and hold on to, that they kind of ignore it. It's easier just to say, well, you know, the place looks nice, I fit all the qualifications, so I'll just take the job. It's easier to do that than to listen to that gut saying, "no this is not right". This is... for whatever reason, it just doesn't feel right, and I think it's very hard sometimes to trust that instead of, again, the tangible thing that's in front of you; that data, or that pros and cons list, or whatever, it really is so much easier just to talk yourself out of what you know. What you know to be true, it's a... really is kind of a, something you have to kind of learn your way out of. And it is, again, there is a faith element involved, you kind of have to trust it. But the more you do it, the more you can.

Kim Forrester :

The obvious question is how do we know what we know, Kim? How do we know that we're in that absolute sense of knowing, and we're not just in the imaginings or ruminations of our own mind? What does it feel like? And you might have touched on this earlier on in the interview, but what does it feel like when you're tapped in to your inner knowing and the exact direction you're in a GPS wants to point you in?

Kim Carey :

Well, one way to know... and this is just... and this is my own experience, I can just share that with you, is that it nags you. It doesn't quite let you off the hook. It keeps coming back to you. So again, let's use the example of a job. You see this job. You think you're perfect for it, you fit all the qualifications, you've gone to meet the people, they seem nice, but there's something that tells you it's not right. Just you saying "Oh, I'm going to take the job anyway", that feeling that part of you won't go away, it will keep coming back, almost like a like a broken record it will keep... it will keep repeating itself. And it's almost as if it's trying to call out to you telling you, or if you have this feeling of I shouldn't go, you know, I should get my car today, we've all had those experiences. And sometimes we override it, a lot of times we do and something will happen or something will take place. And so it is a matter of kind of understanding what that feels like when you have it. And usually it is something that repeats itself. It's not something you have once and it goes away. It's kind of a nagging. It's telling you it's there is like a Still Small Voice because it keeps repeating. And so, and that's just one way there are lots of ways to tell that it's your instincts, or that you're being told something from your inner knowing; that inner knowing part of you, but the best way to find out is to follow it, just follow it. Because if again, if it's not life or death, you know, it really, you will just either misstep and say, "well, I guess I was wrong", or you'll find out; no, I this is right, I need to follow this more, and that is usually what people will find out.

Kim Forrester :

So, my final question, which kind of leads on from that answer there. This is a question I ask all my guests on the Eudaemonia podcast, Kim; can you offer a simple morning reminder. So this may be a practice, a mantra, an affirmation, something that can help my listeners start recognising and trusting that inner voice.

Kim Carey :

The best advice I could probably give, especially if people are on this path of trying to figure out where they stand with things like this, is to be open. Be open to what you hear, be open to people, be open to ideas and beliefs, because that's the only way that you can find out what resonates with you. If you take it in and you sit with it for a minute, you can you can decide for yourself, Is this right? Do I feel like this is right? Do I believe this? It's so important. And I think when we get into beliefs of any kind, sometimes we can just fall into that pattern of just like, this is what I believe... this is what I believe... Be open. Be open. because when you're open, you can let things in, see how they sit with you, and then you can decide.

Kim Forrester :

Kim, that's really powerful, and I think that maybe we need to expand that concept there. You're not just talking about religious beliefs, are you, or your people who are in a church and questioning those beliefs or in a particular faith. But for people who are not part of an organised religion, they might have political beliefs that they have attached themselves to, or they might have social beliefs, we all have political and social beliefs. Are those the kinds of things that we should also remain open to changing and to questioning?

Kim Carey :

Absolutely, because especially if you're raised with certain beliefs in anything, like you said, political, social, whatever it is, you... you can fall into those patterns of just kind of repeating what you've heard. And I think there is a real problem, especially, you know, right now and what we see in the United States of people kind of falling into the patterns of belief that they have, whether it's a political party, or a person that they're following, or they want to be a part of a certain group, you really do need to kind of be open to everything, because then you can find out, does it fit me? Does it sit well with me? Or is it just something I've heard and I'm repeating or my parents told me that, or, you know, I heard it from somewhere and I took it at face value, if you are open, and this includes relationships and all kinds of things where if you're open, you can let it sit with you. Let it kind of sit with you and see how you feel. Let it, kind of, almost touch that inner knowing part of you. Let it resonate there, sit with you, and how do you feel with it. You may find that you don't believe something you thought you did, or something doesn't sit well with you that you thought did. So, I just think it's so important to keep open, and let things in and then see how they resonate with you.

Kim Forrester :

I guess, to summarise, if it hasn't come from within, then it's not really coming from your inner truth and knowing, is it? If it's just something that you're regurgitating, then it's not truly from you, unless and until your inner knowing resonates with exactly the same concept or belief or decision.

Kim Carey :

Absolutely. That's exactly right. Exactly.

Kim Forrester :

Now, Kim, as I've said before, I have written a book about this very very topic. So I'm just going to take a moment to let my listeners know about Infinite Mind. In the book I relive some really incredible moments of inner knowledge, and I introduced the science that is helping us make intellectual sense of these kinds of experiences and phenomina. And if you want to learn more about my book, you can go to www.infinitemindbook.com. And Kim, if listeners want to find out more about you, the work that you do, your fabulous YouTube channel, and the courses that you offer, where should they go to find you?

Kim Carey :

You can go to YouTube and put Intuitiview, it's all one word, in the search engine, you'll find me there. You can also send me an email at intuitiview@gmail.com and tell me you're interested in classes, and I'm going to be teaching recorded classes, but you can download them and you'll be able to add on a mentoring session if you'd like which is just a personal one-on-one, and the course will be called Spirit Communication and Development for Beginners.

Kim Forrester :

Well, it's been a delight watching you on YouTube for the last few months, Kim, and it's been an absolute pleasure having you here on the Eudaemonia podcast. Thank you for coming and sharing what I believe is truly, truly, vital for us to understand; this incredible concept about inner knowing. Thank you for being here.

Kim Carey :

Thank you, Kim.

Kim Forrester :

According to the author and poet Kahlil Gibran, "When you reach the end of what you should know, you will be at the beginning of what you should sense." You've been listening to the Eudaemonia podcast. If you'd like to learn more about how to live a truly flourishing life, please subscribe, and check out www.eudaemoniapod.com for more inspiring episodes. I'm Kim Forrester, until next time, be well, be kind to yourself, and befriend your inner knowing. Transcribed by https://otter.ai